


Sweet Lies

by kjonginexo



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Endgame ChanKai, Endgame Sebaek, Fluff, Happy Endings For All, M/M, Past SeKai, a good amount of fluff though, sad angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-11
Updated: 2017-09-11
Packaged: 2018-12-26 11:27:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,118
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12058044
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kjonginexo/pseuds/kjonginexo
Summary: Jongin just wants to be able to stop telling himself sweet lies and be happy.





	Sweet Lies

Sehun knew he wasn’t the best boyfriend in the entire world. It wasn’t that he didn’t try, he was just careless in his own lackadaisical state of mind. Jongin though, was always patient and reassured Sehun a hundred million times that as long as Sehun was there he didn’t mind. Sehun tend to listen to those words instead of noticing the way Jongin’s tone faltered every time he had to recite it to shush the incessant blabbering of Sehun’s apologies. 

Sehun runs late to dates, sometimes leaving the other hanging for an hour who always got looks of pity from people around him. Sehun didn’t know that, Jongin never said, Jongin never wanted Sehun to feel bad. Sehun was careless and said things that he didn’t even think about if it would hurt his boyfriend or not. Jongin would make it more known that Sehun went too far, and in tow, Sehun would apologize. Apologies are empty and meaningless if the actions don’t match up the words, so by now, after two years of dating Sehun, he barely takes the comments to heart and lets it go. 

Sehun was touchy when it suited his agenda, Jongin would get shoved off or whined at if he touched Sehun when Sehun wasn’t wanting it. Jongin let that go as well. The whole relationship itself was based around Sehun and what Sehun felt like doing or wanting or just showed up to things or planned things. Jongin was a backseat rider, letting the other drive him around, and he didn’t necessarily know why he let Sehun keep driving him around.

He gets reminded of the reason when he sees the crinkles by Sehun’s crescent eyes when he smiles, lips curling into a rectangle like shape and teeth setting on his light pink bottom lip. Love, that’s the reason, and love always makes people do ridiculous things no matter the cost. Jongin would bend over backwards for Sehun to be happy, and he thinks that as long as Sehun lies in bed with him at night, he has no reason to complain. So he’d let Sehun drive, as long as the other stayed in his arms every night.

 

Jongin sat on the couch next to his friend, Chanyeol, both their limbs tangled messily on the couch as they sprawled out against it, playstation controllers tightly gripped in their fingers as they pressed buttons for their videogame. Jongin liked days like this where he felt like he could just relax and not think so much. Chanyeol, his tall gangly clumsy friend, had a way of making sure Jongin didn’t think about anything than the task at hand or a stupid joke. 

Chanyeol, wide brown eyes, dyed silver hair that was darker grey at the roots had been his friend just of recent. Jongin talks to him about his relationship to which Chanyeol always sighs and holds Jongin until the other relaxes and insists it’s okay. That Sehun does indeed love him, even if he doesn’t really believe that sometimes. 

“You totally cheated!” Chanyeol’s baritone voice filled the room once Jongin won the round, making him giggle as he shook his head. “I didn’t, you just suck.” Chanyeol jabbed his foot into Jongin’s stomach, both exchanging giddy smiles. The door clicked of the apartment along with a jiggle of keys, making Jongin grin excitedly. He loved when Sehun got home, Sehun always seemed indifferent, but Jongin didn’t necessarily care since seeing Sehun was enough for him. “Hey Nini, I was wondering- oh, hey Chanyeol.” 

Chanyeol waved, untangling his legs from Jongin’s to put them on the floor, but Jongin was too enrapt with how Sehun looked. Neatly groomed black hair that rested just above his eyebrows, narrow eyes tired but happy, high cheekbones making him stoic, thin pretty pink lips plumped out today. Broad shoulders trailing down to a thin slender waist, he looked simply stunning even if he was just in a plain white button down and black jeans. 

“Hey, I’ll be going Jongin. See you this Saturday?” Jongin nodded, getting on the couch to hug Chanyeol, just to be taller. Chanyeol laughed at this hugging Jongin back with a little squeeze. “I’ll see you, bye Yeol.” Chanyeol pulled away, giving Sehun a clamp to the shoulder before walking out. “Saturday?” Jongin nodded, sitting back down on the couch as he powered down the playstation. “New Thor movie comes out, I told you about that last night.” 

Sehun nodded, barely listening, Jongin knows the difference by now. “Sounds great.” Mindlessly, Sehun replied, uninterested, something Jongin knows too well. He stays quiet now, curling into himself on the couch, bringing his knees to his chest with his arms around his legs. It was hard to feel alone while you were with someone, Jongin felt that emptiness erupt in his body constantly. Like it was a plague and he loathed it more than anything. 

 

Sometimes, very rarely, he thinks about what it would be like if Sehun and Jongin broke up. Jongin knows he’d have a place with Chanyeol, but he would miss seeing the things he liked about Sehun or the things Sehun does that makes him so perfect. The fact that he thinks about it in the very rare times of true sadness concerns him because really he wouldn’t leave unless he wasn’t given any other option but to leave. The time that option would ever show is if Sehun totally stopped caring, which surprisingly, hasn’t happened yet.

Sehun showed care when he wanted, Jongin noticed that has been dying down for the past two weeks, Sehun seemed to just be someone who lived with  Jongin now with a label and sometimes touched him. Jongin ignored the option popping up in his face because leaving Sehun didn’t make sense while all at the same time it did. 

It made sense since he could maybe find someone who would actually give a shit about him and love him, but it didn’t make sense because Jongin lost himself in  Sehun some time ago when they were just friends who hooked up now and then. Jongin wouldn’t know who he would be if there wasn’t Sehun, and while he would be interested to explore who he is now, without Sehun there by his side there wouldn’t be a point to his venture. Not that Sehun would care to support him, but Jongin wants him there. Love is a poison, a poison he keeps inhaling and suffocating on. 

The option danced around him in the shadows of his mind while he sat to himself, listening to Sehun’s pen scratch against the paper on the glass table. The option didn’t come out of the darkness and make itself known to Jongin since he would didn’t allow it the chance, he didn’t allow it the chance since maybe he could live with this. Maybe he could marry Sehun and live with this forever, feeling alone while they were together, if it meant Sehun being in his arms for one more night he surely wouldn’t mind.

Sweet lies is what Jongin liked to feed himself, simply put. Lies that would make him forget that he could just leave and find someone new, lies that could easily make a warmth swell in his heart despite the cold reality he sat in currently. Jongin liked the sweet lies, and he liked them from himself since Sehun didn’t care enough to tell Jongin those very sweet lies. Jongin was sure more than half the time that Sehun didn’t love him anymore, but he told himself that Sehun did. A sweet lie he always found himself believing just to keep himself there.

 

Sehun was already in bed by the time Jongin finished cleaning up after dinner. He was texting back and forth with Chanyeol, who had been his savior during this shit time. He made Jongin smile, and he felt care from Chanyeol he wanted and so desperately craved from Sehun. It was okay though, Jongin could live without Sehun paying attention to him in the way he wants. Chanyeol asked how Jongin’s day was, Jongin asked about his in return, Chanyeol listened, Jongin listened in return. 

They cuddled sometimes, and Chanyeol always felt so warm and like he genuinely wanted Jongin to be there. Chanyeol was soft when Jongin cried into his chest, Chanyeol always felt soft when Jongin buried his face into the chest in front of him. Chanyeol never made him cry, but rather made him happy. Jongin didn’t feel happiness with Sehun much anymore, but he stayed anyway. 

“Jongin?” Jongin shook out of his thoughts from looking at the phone, sending a text to Chanyeol before pocketing his phone. “Yeah?” Sehun scratched the back of his neck. “Are you done washing dishes?” Jongin nodded, stepping away from the sink. “Cool, just wondering since it’s kind of loud.” And with that, Sehun walked back into the bedroom. 

Jongin thought Sehun would ask if Jongin was coming to bed, thought that Sehun liked his presence, but that gave him a reminder he wasn’t needed. Sehun probably didn’t love him anymore, and Jongin only stayed since it would be easier than leaving someone he  _ really _ loved. He sunk down to the kitchen floor, hands over his face as soft tears fell down his cheeks. It was getting harder to lie to himself, it was all in his face that Sehun really didn’t love him anymore. 

 

He got home late on Saturday, Jongin didn’t expect for Sehun to be sitting on the couch at midnight. Sehun went to bed at ten, Jongin eleven, Jongin faintly smiled at him. “You’re home late.” Sehun commented coldly, making Jongin jump. “We got food, I’m sorry, I didn’t think you’d care.” Jongin let the words leave his lips hesitantly, eyes not looking at Sehun.

“The fuck is that supposed to mean?” Voice hostile, sharp, Jongin looked at him now. “Not like that, you’re just usually asleep and you know Marvel movies run late, I, I’m sorry.” Jongin locked the door now, listening to Sehun sigh out tiredly. “No, I’m sorry. For more than just this.” Jongin looked back up at his boyfriend, eyebrows furrowed together. “For what then?” Sehun stepped up to him and brought his arms around Jongin’s waist. This felt right, Jongin thinks, Jongin being held by Sehun as he let his head fall into the crook of the others neck. “I’m a horrible boyfriend to you, Nini. Chanyeol treats you better than I do and I can’t even find myself to be mad about that. I didn’t even remember where you were at until an hour ago when I saw Chanyeol’s post on Instagram of you two waiting in line to see the movie. I’m sorry.”

Jongin lifted his head, water pooling in his eyes. All good things must come to an end, and he needed an answer. “Do you still love me?” Sehun looked at him, he paused, and that was everything Jongin needed to know. “Got it, okay. I’m going to stay over at Chanyeol’s.” Jongin tried moving away from Sehun, tears falling down his cheeks. “Nini, please, don’t go.” Jongin shook his head, moving Sehun’s arms away from him. “You don’t love me, I fed myself lies thinking that you did, and I stayed for that when I thought so many times you didn’t love me anymore. I was right all along.” 

Sehun moved his arms away from Jongin, staring up at him with parted lips and watery eyes. “How long did you think I stopped loving you?” Jongin looked over at him, a shaky breath passing his lips. “Eight months ago, that’s when you fully stopped listening to me. Haven’t you noticed about a year ago I stopped telling you when something you did bothered me? You didn’t listen, and now I just let you drive and do whatever, cause I sat here and told myself you loved me. But hey, they were all sweet lies. You can keep the apartment okay? I’ll be by soon to get my stuff, if you need me, I’m at Chanyeol’s.” Sehun grabbed Jongin’s wrist, holding it tight. “We’re breaking up?” Jongin nodded, by now sobs freely escaped his lips as he nodded. “No point in me staying here, loving you, when you can’t even bring it in you to love me anymore.”

Jongin shook his arm free of Sehun’s hand, grabbing his keys to walk out the door and didn’t turn back to the silence behind him.

 

 

  * **_**_Three years later_**_**



 

 

Jongin rolled over, face pressed into the clean sheets of the bed, grunting out quietly in discomfort at having to wake up. He knew his boyfriend was still there beside him since he could feel the dip in the bed beside him. That and Chanyeol slept with his gangly limbs sprawling in any available open space. Today his left leg opted to be in between Jongin’s thighs. His eyes opened now, propping himself up on his elbows to lean over and kiss Chanyeol’s nose with a faint smile on his lips. 

He carefully untangled himself from Chanyeol and padded out the bedroom. His tight boxers clung to his skin as Chanyeol’s oversized shirt rested comfortably on his upper thighs, making it look like he was wearing nothing but the shirt. He rubbed at his eyes with one hand, the other pushing open the bathroom door and flicking on the light to take in his appearance. He looked disheveled, he figured he would, Chanyeol is handsy when they make out and liked to go for the hair. 

The sink ran quietly, he brushed his teeth and washed his face, combed through his hair, took his morning piss, washed his hands then walked back into the bedroom where his boyfriend was now awake. He looked irritated for just waking up, but then again, Chanyeol’s best friend Baekhyun is known for spamming Chanyeol while he sleeps with dumb things that Jongin wouldn’t think to text anyone. “Hi, baby.” Jongin’s voice filled the room, scratchy and gruff, smiling down at Chanyeol as he straddled the taller man's lap now. 

“Morning, angel, sleep okay?” Jongin nodded, taking the phone out of Chanyeol’s larger hands and held them, threading their fingers together. “Did you? Why do you look irritated?” Chanyeol nodded at the question, sitting up to press a chaste kiss to Jongin’s lips, nudging his nose over Jongin’s. “Baekhyun made lunch plans with us today, but he invited Sehun, and I know we’re his friends and everything but I don’t like how he stares at you like a lost puppy. Especially after all the shit he put you through.”

 

It didn’t hurt to talk about Sehun anymore, Jongin was super grateful at that revelation. Like Chanyeol had said, they’re all friends, so hurting every time someone brought his ex up was getting hard to deal with. Their breakup was definitely not a good one, Sehun stopped by Chanyeol’s far too often to tell Jongin off for leaving in which Jongin would cry, then Chanyeol would step in to say everything Jongin had been wanting to say. 

Finally, Jongin had it one day and let everything explode. Sehun didn’t show up for three weeks and when he did it was with flowers and an apology for how he had been acting all together. In their relationship and out. Jongin took the flowers, but didn’t accept the apology until months later, when he was starting to move on. 

Chanyeol and Jongin came together slowly, like it was simple and easy. They didn’t dance around each other very much but it was slow, accidental touches to their hands that lingered for a few seconds too long to be considered just an accident. Cuddles on the couch that led to cuddling in bed since Jongin didn’t like sleeping alone and Chanyeol liked having Jongin there. They held hands one day when Chanyeol felt brave enough in the middle of their morning routine of Chanyeol drinking coffee and Jongin drinking an earl grey tea, and then naturally hand holding became apart of their ordeal. 

Somewhere in there, Jongin moved on entirely from Sehun within a year and a half, he realized that as he watched Chanyeol fall asleep in front of him. Listening to the even deep breaths that hit his cheek every now and then, how he thought Chanyeol looked so sweet and peaceful in front of him. How he didn’t think about what Sehun was doing, but instead just on Chanyeol in front of him. 

Their first date was something Jongin would never forget since Chanyeol showed up on time, meeting Jongin actually at the front door as they both got there promptly. They ate dinner and saw a marvel movie, it all felt very natural and plain right to Jongin. Their kiss at the end at the front step of their apartment was sweet, patient, full of smiles on both ends. It had been natural and right since then, now a year and a half they had been together, and Jongin felt so happy. 

Chanyeol did everything Jongin could have ever wanted, and in return Jongin gave everything Chanyeol could ever ask for. He didn’t have to lie to himself, he didn’t feel alone when he was next to Chanyeol. He got all the affections and touches he craved and he returned the same favor to Chanyeol, it was all in all something perfect, and Jongin didn’t want what they had to slip away.

 

“He does not look at me like a lost puppy.” Jongin snorted, rolling his eyes playfully. Chanyeol laughed softly, sitting up to cup Jongin’s face in his large hands. “He does, he looks at you like that ever since we broke it to our friends that we’re an exclusive couple.” Jongin never forgot how Sehun looked when Chanyeol and Jongin told Baekhyun, Kyungsoo, and Sehun that they were dating. While Baekhyun screeched about how he knew it and Kyungsoo simply smiled and muttered a ‘finally’, Sehun stared at Jongin like Jongin could imagine he stared at Sehun on days when Sehun didn’t pay him any mind.

Like he was lost, somewhere else entirely, like he was trying to think of something to make what happened okay. “He doesn’t, and you gotta let that go. I’m with you aren’t I?” Chanyeol sighed out softly, nodding, brushing his nose over Jongin’s one more time. “You’re with me, I know. I treat you good, right?” Jongin nodded, no hesitation as he pecked Chanyeol’s lips. “You do, I’m not going anywhere. I love you.” Chanyeol perked up at that, pushing Jongin back to lay on the bed. “I love you too. Just to be safe, I’m gonna just place a few hickeys here and there.” Jongin squealed softly as Chanyeol tickled his sides, making him giggle now as a breathy whimper took over as Chanyeol nipped on his neck.

He liked this, he loved Chanyeol, their relationship was perfect. Jongin meant it when he said he wasn’t going to go anywhere because in all honesty, there is nowhere he would rather be. Not even with Sehun, Sehun didn’t come into his mind unless he was mentioned. Chanyeol stayed in his mind, like a constant sweet day dream. Jongin found his happiness and he didn’t plan on letting go.

 

“Hey fuckers.” Baekhyun arrived to the table after a few minutes of waiting with Sehun trudging along. Jongin smiled up at the two, waving to Baekhyun first then Sehun. “Hey, you know, it’s not hard to show up on time to a lunch you planned.” Chanyeol chuckled at that, bringing his arm around Jongin’s waist. “He’s right Baek.” Baekhyun rolled his eyes playfully, sitting down in the chair next to Jongin, leaving Sehun to sit across from him silently.

“I regret being excited for you two getting together, all you both do is gang up on me.” Chanyeol held up his head, looking at Baekhyun. “It took you a year and a half to regret that? Wow, Jongin we were doing so good.” Jongin giggled at that, kissing Chanyeol’s cheek, listening to the voice that stayed quiet finally speak. “Is Soo coming?” Baekhyun shook his head. “Had work or some boring shit, I don’t care, I zoned out after ‘I can’t make it’.” 

Jongin leaned into Chanyeol’s shoulder, reading over the menu, listening to Sehun and Baekhyun talk about something he wasn’t sure of. Chanyeol put in some input, but Jongin was more preoccupied with what his options of food were. “Baby?” Jongin leaned up, Chanyeol looking down at him. “Hm?” Chanyeol kissed his forehead, nose nudging over his. “Know what you want?” Jongin shook his head, grinning as he kissed Chanyeol’s chin. “You see, they have fried chicken, or I could get a salad with fried chicken in it.” 

That made the table laugh, Jongin himself. “Get the salad, you need some greens.” Chanyeol commented, Jongin nodded and shut the menu, finally making eye contact with Sehun who was indeed staring at him like a lost puppy until he offered a friendly smile and tore his eyes somewhere else. Jongin looked to Baekhyun who was rambling about something stupid but entertaining, focusing on the way  Chanyeol’s thumb rubbed into his hip. He felt better immediately. 

 

Lunch went by as fast as it came, they were preparing to leave as Sehun cleared his throat. “Jongin, can I talk to you?” Jongin looked up at Sehun, then over to Chanyeol. Chanyeol looked immediately tense, Jongin shrugged, Chanyeol widened his eyes a little bit with eyebrows raising. Jongin knew that meant he was uncomfortable with it, but Jongin now gave him a soft gaze with his head falling to the side. Chanyeol sighed softly, stepping over to Jongin to press a few little kisses to his lips. “I’ll be over there, okay?” 

Chanyeol pulled away as Jongin returned the kisses with a nod, then looked over at Sehun. “Don’t even think about stealing my boyfriend, Oh.” The tone was playful but serious at the same time, making Sehun nod quickly. Sehun sat back down at the halfway cleared out table, Jongin sitting down across from him. “How have you been?” Sehun asked quietly, soft, scared. Jongin smiled, arms crossing on the table. “Happy, how about you?” Sehun shook his head, furrowing his eyebrows together. 

“That doesn’t matter. How’s work?” Jongin furrowed his eyebrows too but continued. “Fine, I got a bigger room to dance in. You?” Sehun looked at Jongin, sucking lightly on his bottom lip. “Okay. How’s your relationship with Chanyeol?” 

Jongin smiled fondly up at that, looking up to see Chanyeol watching them who flashed Jongin a similar fond smile and a little wave. Jongin giggled at that, looking back down to Sehun. “Great, Sehun, if you wanted to ask how I was doing you can call or text.” Sehun shook his head quickly, hands over his face but a gap for his mouth. “Do you love him?” Jongin nodded, speaking “I do.” 

Sehun moved his hands away from his face, sighing out shakily. “I know this is long overdue. I’m sorry. I never listened to you, I didn’t pay attention to you, I didn’t care that you even left until I woke up and you were really gone. I was so mad, but I was so mad at myself that I let you go and made you really think I didn’t love you. I did love you, but I loved you selfishly. I didn’t care about anything you did for me, and apart of me now thinks I didn’t care about you. Which doesn’t make sense because I loved you so much, but I kept you around for what you did for me. I didn’t once think about how you felt, I didn’t think about anything except me. I don’t know why I said ‘hey I fucking love you so much’ that night when you asked me. And maybe it’s because I just didn’t care in general. But I owe you an apology for how I treated you while we were together, and I’m so sorry I hurt you so much and made you think I didn’t love you, and made you feel alone. You were basically alone. And I’m so sorry, Jongin, I’m so so sorry. I’m really happy you have Chanyeol and I,” Sehun paused, looking up at Jongin who had watery eyes “I hope you both last.” 

Jongin stood up now and cleared his throat. He felt relieved at finally hearing everything that needed to be said, and he felt a lot better with himself. “It’s okay, Sehun. Thank you for apologizing. It means a lot to me. I mean it, I really do. I have to go now though okay? I’ll call you later and maybe we can hang out?” Sehun smiled up at him, eyes watery as well. “Yeah, yeah I’d like that.” Jongin smiled faintly down at him before going over to Chanyeol, hand immediately finding his boyfriends. 

“You okay?” Jongin nodded, kissing Chanyeol’s cheek. “He didn’t steal me from you don’t worry, he apologized. I got all emotional because it was like a huge weight lifting off my chest.”  Chanyeol smiled, kissing Jongin’s temple as they walked out the restaurant. “Good baby boy, you needed that. Now, how about we go to the comic book store?” Jongin nodded, tugging Chanyeol out now. 

 

Sehun was different, Jongin could already tell. He didn’t ever spend alone time with the other male since their breakup, but now as he sat still with Sehun three weeks later after the sudden apology having lunch (much to Chanyeol’s dismay), he could see it. Sehun listened now, he was very attentive in everything Jongin had to say and made conversation with him about whatever it was. Jongin also was shocked when Sehun was on time actually, something new entirely.

“So, Hunnie, found anyone interesting to date?” Sehun shook his head, wiping his hands on the napkin, shrugging. “No, not really.” Jongin left it at that, deciding not to push since Sehun would’ve said more if he wanted to. “Does Chanyeol treat you better than I did?” Jongin looked at him, mouth suddenly dry at the question. He wasn’t expecting that one. “He treats me nicely.” Carefully picked words. 

Sehun nods, clearing his throat with a tight smile. “Good.” Jongin smiled faintly and felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. Chanyeol, just checking in, Jongin responded with a ‘it's going fine (:’ before pocketing his phone and pushed away his half way eaten plate. The food wasn’t too good, but it was his fault for trying to accommodate in Sehun’s need for bubble tea and getting fried chicken at a restaurant clearly not meant for fried chicken. “I need to know this, and I’m sorry for asking. Do you still love me?”

A question Jongin had heard from Chanyeol far too often for his own comfort at the beginning of their relationship. If he loved Sehun, he always answered no but that apart of Sehun would always be within him. It made sense, spending so much time with Sehun of course would leave it’s stain. Not a bad one, but one that would just be noticed easily, and Chanyeol never had a problem with that. The answer wasn’t any different as he stared back at Sehun’s gleaming hopeful narrow eyes. 

“No, I don’t, but apart of you will always be in me.” Sehun nodded, looking down at his lap with a light chuckle breathing past his lips. “I figured as much, I deserve you not loving me anymore.” Jongin furrowed his eyebrows together. “Why did that matter?” Sehun looked up at him, eyes watery with a forced smile and shaky whisper now. “Because I still love you. I can just be your friend, Jongin. Don’t worry about that. I have to go now, okay? This was nice, and I hope we can do it again sometime.” Sehun got up, leaving before Jongin could even say goodbye.

 

Jongin washed the dishes, gnawing anxiously at his bottom lip in thought of even telling Chanyeol about what happened over lunch. Jongin didn’t want to do it over dinner, Chanyeol tends to ramble on about his day (which Jongin always enjoys listening to) since there was always a bunch of ground to cover. His abused bottom lip cried for mercy as he continued to bite at it and fleck off skin in between his teeth.

“Your poor bottom lip.” The low voice murmured out, arms brought around his slim waist to have his back against a warm chest. Jongin released it slowly, setting the last dish in the dish rack to dry before turning around in his boyfriend’s arms. “I love you.” Jongin murmured, he felt scared that Chanyeol would leave if he told him what happened, but Jongin knew the chances were that  Chanyeol would leave if Jongin withheld that to himself. “I love you too, baby are you okay? You’ve been off all dinner.” 

Chanyeol’s fingers ran through Jongin’s hair the way he liked, Jongin relaxed a little bit before taking a little inhale and flickered his eyes up to Chanyeol. “Today at lunch Sehun asked if I still loved him. I told him exactly what I always told you, and asked why that mattered. He said it was because he still loved me, and then he left.” Chanyeol looked down at him, rigid and body tense. Jongin felt small beneath the tense unforgiving stare of Chanyeol, he felt the urge to run away, like he needed to escape everything that was going on.

He looked down, stuck on their feet as he slightly wiggled his way out of Chanyeol’s carelessly loose grip. “I’m sorry.” He said quiet, he sounded pathetic and small, he really didn’t want Chanyeol to be mad. They didn’t fight often but when they did it always resulted in Chanyeol storming out, and he didn’t want Chanyeol to go. “Nini, I’m glad you told me.” Chanyeol’s voice spoke a whole different story from the words, leaving Jongin refusing to look up now, staying silent. “I’m not mad at you, okay?” Gentle fingers lifted his chin, having him look up at his boyfriend who gave Jongin a softened look. 

“Don’t be mad at Sehun, please. I don’t want there to be problems, and you already dislike him, Yeol. He knows I don’t love him and he respects us to some extent.” Chanyeol rolled his eyes with a grumble about ‘some extent’ before staring at Jongin. A sigh followed by a half hearted nod is what finally made Jongin’s body relax. “I love you, Jongin.” Jongin smiled faintly, bringing his arms around his boyfriend and stepped up on his tiptoes to dip his head in the crook of Chanyeol’s neck. “I love you too, so much.” 

 

Four months later, it took four months for Chanyeol to let the incident go. Jongin noticed Chanyeol only let it go since Baekhyun showed up to dinners holding Sehun’s hand or Sehun staring at Baekhyun adoringly. Jongin found that sweet, but what was sweeter that it was finally the two year mark of their relationship. Chanyeol and Jongin spent their anniversary night how Chanyeol thought it would be best. A walk through the park somewhere they went on one of their many many dates. 

Chanyeol fidgeted a lot through the date, hand on the back of his neck with shy laughter that Jongin found strange yet endearing. Chanyeol never got nervous during their dates, not even the very first one where Jongin felt like he was going to pass out. “Chanyeol, are you alright? I’ve never seen you so nervous and this even includes the time you were waiting to see if the rumors about Donald Glover being spider man being true and then got so upset when you learned they weren’t.” Chanyeol laughed his heartwarming loud laugh at that, making Jongin smile and squeeze his boyfriend's hand.

“I’m great, I promise.” They stopped underneath a willow tree, it looked familiar, but Jongin knew why. He remembered which park this was, this was the park where they became cliche lovesick teenagers that carved a heart into the tree with their initials into it. Sure enough, there was the tree, initials still carved into it. PCY + KJI, just how Jongin remembered. It made a smile stretch across his lips until he felt the warm hand move away from his own.

“Nini, Kim Jongin, I didn’t prepare much of a speech, because really words never really defined us. We are people who do things off actions, and prove them by seeing it through.” Chanyeol paused, Jongin looking up at him, heart hammering wildly in his chest. “I love you more than words could ever say, and I certainly hope everything I’ve done for the past two years proves that and more. I think this will further solidify that I want to continue loving you for as long as life offers you in my own life.” Jongin was already nodding, eyes flooding with joyful tears watching Chanyeol drop down to his one knee and swig out a black velvet box. The ring inside was a platinum silver ring with two tungsten rings on the outsides, a few diamonds sparkling within the silver. “Will you marry me?” 

Jongin nodded harder, dropping down on his knees, hands cupping Chanyeol’s face to press a long hard, yet loving kiss to his fiance’s lips. Once they pulled away it was happy nervous laughs as Chanyeol slipped the ring onto his finger, foreheads bumping into one another but they didn’t care. Jongin felt happy, and there was absolutely nothing that could tear his happiness apart. 

 

“You’re engaged?” Sehun asked quietly, eyebrows rose up in shock, looking over Jongin as he flashed the ring to Sehun a week later. Jongin nodded, grin and all on his face, eyes stuck on the ring, too busy to notice the way Sehun’s eyes flickered back and forth between sadness and happiness. “Yeah! He did it at this park where we engraved our initials into a willow tree, he’s so cute. So, hey! Yeah! You’re invited, bring Baekhyun as your plus one. We totally see you’re starting to become an item.” Jongin talked quick and full of excitement, finally looking up to see Sehun’s sad yet happy look, nodding at all of Jongin’s words. 

“I’ll see, your wedding is a few months away right?” Jongin nodded, humming thoughtfully. “Winter wedding, Chanyeol likes the cold and insists I look lovely in snow.” Sehun nodded, holding his head with his hand. “All I wanted was to see you happy, and you’re the happiest I’ve ever seen you. Congratulations, I really am happy for you.” Jongin nodded a little bit, ignoring the way his mind felt happy and relieved that Sehun was happy for him. “You can be happy too, give it a chance, but thank you.” 

They got up from the table and gave each other a hug, Jongin felt Sehun cling onto him for dear life, like if he let go Jongin would go away. In a way, he would, he wasn’t Sehun’s anymore, but he would always always be his best friend. He wouldn’t go too far. They pulled away, smiling faintly at one another before Jongin walked away to meet his fiance at the coffee shop next door. Their favorite one in fact, and wasn’t let down to find his happy fiance sitting at a table for two with a hot chocolate that had Jongin’s name on it. 

 

Jongin sat at his reception, wedding ring sitting pretty on his fingers as the subtle diamonds were shining beneath the lights of the venue. The snow outside was falling down on the ground, it took seven months of unforgiving planning, but Jongin didn’t regret it. Park Jongin, it had a nice ring to it, he loved it. He loved his husband, he loved his life as of now. 

He watched Sehun and Baekhyun dance to a faster song, their relationship was fairly new but Jongin knew Sehun was happy. Jongin looked at Sehun who caught his glance, exchanged nods of  _ ‘it worked out, I’m glad we’re happy’ _ before returning back to his normal business.

Jongin turned over to Chanyeol who now was trying to figure out where to tap the fork on the champagne flute. It made Jongin giggle, leaning over, he grabbed Chanyeol’s chin and pressed a soft kiss to his lips, murmuring against them. “I love you, Park Chanyeol.” Chanyeol hummed with a grin, the hum vibrating through his chest. “And I love you, Park Jongin.” Jongin already knew it before, but it was confirmed for him now that he’d never have to tell himself a sweet lie ever again.

**Author's Note:**

> ok i tried


End file.
